I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
