just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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