very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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