The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
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She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
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they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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