Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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