just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
