The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
