youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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