Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
