Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
