Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
