I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
