no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
