Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
