JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
