Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."

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  (850): I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House." http://tfl.nu/nesx
  Replies (17) Good night (2781) Bad night (804)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.

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  (612): Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever. http://tfl.nu/d9v5
  Replies (8) Good night (3095) Bad night (734)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.

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  (757): I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home. http://tfl.nu/lnz2
  Replies (23) Good night (1072) Bad night (5576)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it

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  (724): It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it http://tfl.nu/fti9
  Replies (11) Good night (5056) Bad night (924)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.

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  (908): so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie. http://tfl.nu/eug9
  Replies (20) Good night (5650) Bad night (1635)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.

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  (613): Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this. http://tfl.nu/j53e
  Replies (6) Good night (1293) Bad night (2146)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.

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  (662): There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up. http://tfl.nu/6xku
  Replies (4) Good night (1824) Bad night (891)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.

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  (210): We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do. http://tfl.nu/emf3
  Replies (6) Good night (975) Bad night (578)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.

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  (540): THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW. http://tfl.nu/zij5
  Replies (24) Good night (1032) Bad night (511)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party

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  (773): Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party http://tfl.nu/w5qe
  Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (333)
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  (925): View more from California

  I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy

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  (925): I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy http://tfl.nu/28xl
  Replies (14) Good night (1772) Bad night (602)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.

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  (773): He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing. http://tfl.nu/5ouo
  Replies (12) Good night (232) Bad night (566)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.

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  (703): I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT. http://tfl.nu/cx57
  Replies (1) Good night (273) Bad night (360)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like

  (630): View more from Illinois

  we should definitely drink gin again. soon.

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  (773): I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like (630): we should definitely drink gin again. soon. http://tfl.nu/20ks
  Replies (0) Good night (387) Bad night (213)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!

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  (+61): I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five! http://tfl.nu/d35d
  Replies (4) Good night (481) Bad night (186)

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