Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
