Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.

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  (810): I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life. http://tfl.nu/vjtl
  Replies (3) Good night (1095) Bad night (1982)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You made me cry and you don't even care

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  (734): You made me cry and you don't even care http://tfl.nu/a209
  Replies (24) Good night (1367) Bad night (4140)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again

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  (810): I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again http://tfl.nu/f45r
  Replies (1) Good night (1611) Bad night (503)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.

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  (585): Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked. http://tfl.nu/rhwl
  Replies (27) Good night (2690) Bad night (818)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  are you going to last longer than 15 seconds

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  nope

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  (913): are you going to last longer than 15 seconds (1-913): nope http://tfl.nu/rdaj
  Replies (34) Good night (1340) Bad night (6370)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her

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  (414): i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her http://tfl.nu/iw7s
  Replies (13) Good night (1419) Bad night (4143)
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  (415): View more from California

  is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?

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  (415): is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes? http://tfl.nu/tmmj
  Replies (7) Good night (3563) Bad night (1151)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.

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  (978): i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies. http://tfl.nu/qg5x
  Replies (10) Good night (4660) Bad night (1781)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.

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  (727): whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob. http://tfl.nu/6fb1
  Replies (6) Good night (980) Bad night (2853)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.

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  (503): I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job. http://tfl.nu/hof0
  Replies (15) Good night (2989) Bad night (1614)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  there not mine if that helps

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  (717): why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter (1-717): there not mine if that helps http://tfl.nu/k00a
  Replies (6) Good night (2337) Bad night (935)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"

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  (360): I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!" http://tfl.nu/wn2w
  Replies (9) Good night (1730) Bad night (798)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Hahaha. That's funny.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship

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  (847): That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am (248): Hahaha. That's funny. (847): But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship http://tfl.nu/cr13
  Replies (6) Good night (3268) Bad night (596)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.

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  (407): I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend. http://tfl.nu/eu14
  Replies (1) Good night (650) Bad night (270)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.

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  (540): You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going. http://tfl.nu/zi7j
  Replies (2) Good night (548) Bad night (273)

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