this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site