No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.