Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
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Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.