Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
