Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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