we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
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You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
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I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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