The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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