Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
