New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
