The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
