If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so let's talk penis.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
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