Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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