Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
