how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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