Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
