Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My life is pants optional.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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