Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
