Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
