They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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