I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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