they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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