I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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