Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
