There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
ok first of all what the fuck
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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