He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
babies were throwing up all over the place
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
In other news, I just burned my penis
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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