Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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