time to smoke my breakfast
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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