Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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