There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
BRING THE BAGELS
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
