Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
