would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
