whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
