i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
