i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I need to sanitize my soul.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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