The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
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I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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