yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
