No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
