that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
