I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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