So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
