You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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