Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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