Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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