I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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