it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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