Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize