When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Randomize
