So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
