she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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