if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
